Gay clubs, bars, and discotheques are the most visible sign of a gay presence in Thailand. Gay Thai  life is far more complex, however, than it first appears.

What two adults do in private is their own business in Thailand. Public displays of sexual affection, however, are considered highly inappropriate. Kissing in public is frowned upon.

This isn't an anti-gay prejudice: Heterosexual kissing is also unacceptable. In fact, it's amusing for American visitors to see two Thai men walking down the street arm-in-arm, when heterosexual Thai couples never do so. What's going on? The two men are non-sexual friends, and thus aren't crossing the line.

If you're seen walking arm-in-arm with a Thai boyfriend, people can figure out what's going on. Your boyfriend may not mind, so if he takes the initiative in this direction, go right ahead. It's better for you not to initiate any public displays

Straight or gay — the distinction isn't made in Thailand as it is in the U.S. In this largely Buddhist country, sex and sexuality come without the guilt and other baggage that accompany them here. Many Thais engage in sex with both men and women, without worrying about how to label themselves.

Thailand does have a gay culture, but much of it has been created by westerners. As a visitor, looking for nightlife, for gay sex, or for gay friends, this is largely the culture you'll most readily find. Here you'll meet outgoing and friendly Asian men who are interested in meeting westerners.

This can give the impression that most Thai men who we'd think of as gay are looking for westerners. That's not the case. But those you meet will often be interested in meeting Americans.